Knight Rider

I've been watching Knight Rider on Netflix recently. I loved this show when I was a child. It's about Kitt the invincible car who went on to become a high school principle and that guy who was always with Kitt who eventually got a job at a beach. However in my old age I've noticed some issues with Kitt. First there was the time where he claimed that a 6 digit passcode had almost infinite possibilities. It doesn't, it has a million possibilities and is easily brute forced even on a slow computer. I can only assume Kitt is self conscious about his abysmal processing speed. Don't worry Kitt, no one is perfect. And honestly even if Kitt could only do a thousand passwords a second it would only take him 16 minutes 40 seconds to try every possible combination. So if he'd stop running his mouth and get to work he'd be almost done by now.

Other Kitt Issues:

  • Kitt let himself be hacked by a kid using a keyboard and an Atari joystick. Kitt has Wi-Fi? And no one turned on the WEP? Great. Just Great.
  • Kitt can jump like 50 feet and bang around like crazy, that's OK. But get stuck in a mud puddle and everything falls apart.
  • Kitt randomly gains the power to remotely manipulate objects by telekinesis.
  • Kitt has a fear of flying.
  • Kitt is a racist, with known prejudices against gypsies and Mexicans.

In addition to Kitt's many faults the series itself has several issues. Every other episode has a "where did that voice come from?" & "it can talk!" conversation. I guess none of these people have ever heard of a radio or a CB or anything before. It's like they're always from the middle ages and are extremely confused by horseless carriages and witchcraft voice boxes.

The Foundation for Law and Government? What a shitty name for anything. That's just the sort of thing you want, an organization of vigilantes with super cars and British managers running amok across America. Maybe we just live in a different world now, but Michael Knight ought to be doing some hard time because we don't live in a world where as long as everything works out in the end all the rule breaking you've done is forgiven. And let's not forget that if police show up after you've got the bad guy in a headlock they handcuff everyone and sort it out later, but that never happens. The cops are all to happy to take over for Michael and just let him wander off. The writers try to cover for this glaring flaw by occasionally having a cantankerous law enforcement character that Michael Knight has to win over. I'm not buying it.

Season 2 pisses me off because Bonnie got replaced with Polly Pocket. I don't know what the new girl's deal is, but I hate her. The only thing that makes the casting situation bearable is I know Bonnie comes back because apparently everyone hates Dotty or whatever the fuck her name is. Useless blonde eye candy, we don't need eye candy. Kitt is the eye candy. It was probably David Hasselhoff's idea, that jerkoff thinks he knows everything because Germans love him.

By: Brock | On: Sat, March 17th, 2012 - 11:54 PM