I bring you one sentence movie reviews of movies I have seen. Why one sentence? Because without limits I will be tempted to write one million words about each movie because I'm cursed with tireless fingers and a penchant for the verbose. Nobody but a crazy person would want to read one million words about anything, let alone what I have to say about modern Hollywood films.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: A train wreck that is the inevitable result of turning a six hundred page book into a two hour movie.
Transformers: I liked it perhaps out desperation, however one fact remains that I cannot deny.
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer: The best super hero movie where the super heroes don't actually do anything.
Spider-man 3: Classic Hollywood last movie in a trilogy treatment: "We didn't get this stuff into the first two films so we have to cram in as much possible at all costs!"
Pirates of the Carribean 3: The most entertaining train wreck of a movie you will probably ever see. (Also see Spider-man 3)
300: The best homo-erotic film where shitloads of people die gruesomely.
Children of Men: Best fight scene involving a day old infant ever, and may I say Viva Dystopia!