Online Dating Profiles

I've been cruising a few online dating sites and there's a few things I have noticed that appear quite commonly in dating profiles.

"I am up for anything."

This is a lie. What a chick means is that up for anything that they consider fun. So suitors had better be omnipotent and not suggest anything boring. A chick who claims that they are up for anything is under the belief that all the stupid shit that floats their boat is the only stupid shit that anyone else is into. Do yourself a favor ladies and don't be a vapid bitch, use some nouns to describe what you want.

"I like to have fun."

Congratulations, you have just read the five most worthless words on the Internet. People who feel the need to include this tidbit should really have the decency to forgo breeding in the first place.

"I don't want to date someone who is mean, plays games, cheats, is controlling, jealous, petty, ugly, abusive, or just wants sex."

Is there some large demographic of women that desire the negative traits listed above and so one must be clear in differentiating themselves? I didn't think so.

"I don't want a one nightstand/booty call."

Good luck with that. Horny guys aren't going to self select themselves because of something written in a dating profile. You'll just have to do the leg work yourself on that one.

"I have kids and they mean the world to me. I'm not looking for a daddy for my kids, etc etc."

No one cares about your kids.

I lie about my body type and only take/use photos that cover up my flaws.

What's the endgame? Do chicks think that they can trick guys long enough to win them over with personality? Fat chance. Beauty is only skin deep, but that's the only part guys can see and you're living a lie if you believe otherwise. Stay within your own attractiveness range, it's what God intended.

By: Brock | On: Wed, January 12th, 2011 - 01:54 AM