Traitor

In the event that aliens invade the Earth I plan to immediately betray mankind to the alien invaders. Any space-faring civilization would be so far beyond us technologically that resistance would be a joke. The aliens would start kicking our asses and only stop kicking them when all asses have been kicked to smithereens. In short I plan to be on the winning team.

The military can't save you. Their might is nothing in the face of an advanced space faring civilization. Even with our bloated military budget and all our irregular shape can do is push around weaker irregular shapes. Kind of makes you wish that we had spent it on something else seeing as how alien invaders can walk all over us. In fact since we have the whole world wired up to explode with nuclear weapons alien invaders probably won't even need to use their own, they can just nukes us with our own weapons. A fitting end to the madness of nuclear proliferation. The only benefit to having aliens use our own nukes against us compared to World War III is that at least we'll know there's intelligent life in the universe before we all die and we'll know that it's better than us.

Politicians can't save you. Mostly they're scum who are only one step above lawyers and pedophiles. They can't even get their shit together and most of them just care about winning elections and holding office and being contrary to the opposition. They're useless. They'll probably try to betray mankind as well, but they'll lie about it, double talk it, or weasel word it to make it look like they're not.

Religion, we have religion up to our eyeballs. People die for it, people kill for it. Some people argue religion versus science whenever science appears to disagree with their sacred, infallible, divinely inspired beliefs. Anyone who thinks that science versus religion is a real debate will be shocked to learn that their beliefs don't mean shit in the face of an invading alien armada. Your god is not going to help you and the power of your prayers will do nothing to slow the onslaught of advanced alien weaponry. The aliens will lay waste to human civilization and exterminate all terrestrial belief systems. Advanced alien weaponry runs on science, science wins and the universe will have a fresh batch of dead gods no one believes in anymore.

Science can't save you. The aliens are way ahead of us, we lost the science race. Maybe if some of us had put a little more effort into science and a little less effort into bronze age mythologies we'd have caught up enough to make a difference. All the art majors and business majors should feel especially bad as should all the religious figures ever who suppressed knowledge and science.

And those are just some of the reasons why I would have to, in good conscience, betray mankind to alien invaders for my own well being.

By: Brock | On: Sun, April 29th, 2012 - 05:51 AM